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Bedtimes Battles

Bedtime. As most of my regular readers will know we struggle a little with bedtimes in our house. Noah hates to sleep, it just gets in the way of playing. He considers it a total waste of his time and to be fair, I find it hard to argue with him as I have felt the same way about sleep for most of my life. Until becoming a parent that is and somewhat surprisingly (to me anyway) I find it has gone up more than just a few notches in value now that I don't get any of it at all. Sometimes I stumble into work in the morning, only recalling the night before in a bit of a haze, and I have scratches and bruises I cant explain. I am beginning, and not for the first time, to wonder if I am living out the plot of Fight Club, though as those of you in the know already know. We don't talk about Fight Club.

Anyway, back to bedtime. Since Ellie was born, bedtimes with Noah have regressed somewhat. Or perhaps it is because we have hit the so called 'terrible twos'. Maybe both. In any case, I dread them now and that saddens and depresses me quite a lot. I don't get much of an opportunity to spend time with Noah during the week as on average I get home at about 7pm - 7.30pm, then its straight into the bath/bedtime routine which is more of a fight now. After bath time, teeth brushing and stories, whilst lying with him in bed, which we have to do until he actually falls asleep and we can tiptoe out of the room (don't ask, that is a whole topic in itself). I am forcibly told 'Away daddy, away. Mummy come. Away daddy. Go to work. Chu-chu train. Away daddy.' followed by crying and tears and wailing. More often than not he will hit and kick me to emphasise the point. Deep down I know that he doesn't mean it maliciously, and that he misses having solo time with Nikala now that Ellie is monopolising her so much, but its hard not to take it to heart a little. It also means I find myself getting cross and shouty at him as a result, usually after I have been head-butted or clawed in the face, and whilst I am obviously keen to let him know that kind of behaviour is unacceptable, I would rather my brief time with him during the week wasn't such a battle. After an hour or so of this, Nikala will come up and take over having finished feeding Ellie for a rare moment (my word that girl eats a lot!). I am dismissed and sent downstairs.

Whilst the dismissal is somewhat hurtful (yes I know I shouldn't take it to heart, but as I said before its hard not to when its every night), it does however give me a rare opportunity to spend some solo time with Ellie, provided she is awake. Something I only really get to do at this point in an evening. And that, that I really enjoy and appreciate.

Last night was the same as usual, except for one thing. After story time, I said my usual 'Night night Noah, love you.' before giving him a big hug and a kiss. Quietly steeling myself for the onslaught that was about to come. But this time, this time Noah looked up at me and said 'Love you daddy', before reaching up and wrapping his arms around my neck and giving me a big long hug and a kiss. Whilst having had plenty of hugs and kisses from him before, though not at bedtime of course, I don't think I've ever heard him say the words 'love you' before. My heart was in my mouth as I laid him down on his pillow and drew up the covers to tuck him in. I turned to give him a kiss on the forehead, still beaming about the moment that had passed between us. Which is probably why I missed the incoming kick that connected with the bridge of my nose. 'Away daddy away! Call mummy! Away away away!'




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